No Ward!

I came to realize I never posted my goals for last week I just did them.  Interesting how that worked out. My goal was to give praise and not to be over critical. Needless to say It turned out okay. I could have done better at the giving praise part.  I don't know about most Dad's or guy's out there but I don't often say outwardly that I am proud of my kids or others I just am happy to see it and go away smiling. Now this has its good and bad points. Growing up I spent a lot of energy in trying to gain praise from my dad who was a quiet man. He worked harder and does to this day then most men I know. He grew up working with his father on the Arizona strip making roads for the BLM and running cattle. A hard way of life for most men. He spent many hours in the day alone while grandpa ran the grader to make roads that to this day cris cross much of the Arizona strip right up to the grand canyon. While dad stayed at base camp and would read Lueise L'Moore books. He was in charge of moving base camp and other small things to help out grandpa. A tough life in many ways. I as I said worked hard to win praise from my father. I pushed myself in everything from Scouting to sports. Yes it was a good thing and in the end as I boarded a flight to serve a Mission for the LDS church in Scotland I finally herd those words.  Thus my desire last week was to FIND reasons to be proud of my wife and kids and then SHARE it with them. I was able to find things to be proud of them for but I still have work to do on the sharing thing.  It is super easy to revert back to the old way of doing things. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Change is and can be very hard. Guss that's why I am writing about this hole process, so I can share with you all of this and maybe if you choose to do the same thing I am can learn from my mistakes and do it better.Maybe even tell me about your experience and we can help each other. This coming week I am going to keep working on this goal and my temperament to see if I can get a bit better results, plus make sure I tell my wife I love her before she says it to me. I got the feeling from her the other day I was not saying it enough so I am going to work on it. Take care y'all.

Update

Hello people,

Well been away from the blog due to a bug that came in a a Lyon and out like a Lamb.  But I am much better now.  So how has the past days been on my 7 day goal you might ask. Well not that bad really until this morning when the dog jumped on my after being outside in the mud. Scratch one clean shirt... Yah kinda lost it. Funny how something so small would make me snap so quick, yet two kids in a screaming match at each other and I am just fine. Over all I think I have handled my self pretty good in keeping my temper. Although I am a bear when I am sick I did my best to not be that bear this time. I had a hard time keeping my temper the other night with my wife as we disagreed about some thing to do with the Scouting program I am a part of. But in the end it worked out okay. Although I must say I was at the edge for a while.  I just kept thinking about my goal and how she was expressing more frustration then being critical of some things.  We all have our good and bad days. I am no exception to that, but it's can be hard to remember that some one other then me may be having one of those days too and you are just the sounding board to help them work past it.  Something I learned a long time ago I recalled this week is most people will not open themselves up like that to just anyone. Most times only people they trust, so you can look at it like I did in the end and realize that your being trusted to listen to someone work out a issue, who feels safe in doing so with you knowing you will not use it to hurt them or judge them for their feelings. It is a interesting point of view that's for sure and one that if you think about it makes a good deal of seance. Tomorrow I will be setting my new set of goals for this week. So until then Peace!

Day 1

Well day one proved to be a lot harder then I had planned to be.  I was able to keep it together for the most part. My resolve was running a little thin by the end of the night as our church had a youth activity and so you put so many kids in a house trying to plan a years worth of activities things can get a bit stressful. I found myself slipping by the end of the night. So i got home and just me and my kids the wife was with a sick friend at the hospital I spent some time with the kids and said its bed time. Did I mention all the stress and tension from the day what I did with it? Well I stopped at the IGA in town and got milk, cookies and wings. Wonder what I was going to do right. Yah that was dumb. So after kids are in bed time to decompress that took some time. So what I do with all that emotion and frustration? You guest it I bottled it up. Instead of getting all mad and grumpy at people I played nice and stuffed it inside until I was at a place I could just let it go.  But I got junk food to help stuff it a little more, like that was going to help.  So the question what to do with all of that raw emotion rather then stuff it? This is going to prove to be a real adventure.  I did not however, yell or get mad at the kids. I was supportive and firm in enforcing the house rules. constructive not destructive. So that's the goal, I got a lot of work ahead of me. Now for today, can I be the same after being poked and pricked all day by a neurologist? I suppose we are going to find out. Peace!

The next 7 days

The goal for the next 7 days is to think before I speak. Meaning that I will not act on emotion rather I will step back and find a approach that is supportive but firm. Yelling is out this week. Being consistent in seeing the kids fallow their routines and respect there mother.  Tall order I know. For me it will be the not yelling and fallow through. That means pain or not pain I have to get up and check to see if the kids have in fact done what was asked of them. Even if it means going upstairs. For many of you who do not know I was injured 2 yrs ago at work. I take pain meds 3 times a day to be able to function. so climbing stairs is very hard and most days I hurt so much I don't want to move. Now because of all this I am a lot over weight. A area of my life I am starting to address. But I came to understand after observing my wife's own journey that I have to heal within to heal without. She is my inspiration because she is so positive and loves everyone. It has hurt her at times when betrayed by people she respected but she pushes forward. One of the best blessing of being home the last 2 yrs is watching her rise to were she is today. There is no way I would be half the man I am today if she was not with me. 20 years we have been together. and through all the sorrow and joy, pain and injuries (several in fact from work) she has never ever let me down. I spent so many years on the road working and missing so much at home that being here now is like falling in love all over and it has been a truly amazing blessing to me. It just has taken me a  while to see it. But all of this is for a post for another time so you all take care and check back tomorrow for another post. Peace!

Welcome to My first Blog.

Welcome Friends!

This is my first attempt at blogging so forgive the noob if I do or say something stupid.  Writing is NOT one of my strong points so don't spend a lot of time worrying about grammar but more over the msg.  This blog is for all of us man, fathers and husbands who want to improve our relationships with out wives, kids and others. To overcome anger and destructive behaviors and to support each other in CHANGING who we are and becoming men of change, courage and power through love and understanding towards our selves and those who matter so much to us in our lives. Straight is not always measured in physical strength but as men we are lead to think and believe this is in fact the truth. I propose a truly strong man is one who is unafraid to love and comfort others, to be supportive and positive and to be consistent. Now you might be thinking soft and well spoken maybe a little but being solid well rounded man has straight of conviction in all things he does and is immovable in who he is as a leader in a home. these dynamics are so important to having a solid strong home and together we can work to support and help others who want to be better then what we are today. So a few rules I must insist on. 1, I will not support profane or all out rood comments about others posts or in general. The English language is vast and so find others words or ways to communicate constructively. 2, People may express and are encouraged to share any religious feelings regarding their own commitment to change but opposing peoples beliefs or putting down a persons faith will not be tolerated. Just so you all know I am LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and so expect me to share my views on faith in this process as it pertains to me. I may share a scriptural reference as part of something I learn I would hope you do also. and finally 3, if you have nothing positive or supportive to say about others then don't say anything. We all are our own worst critics we don't need anymore from others unless it is asked for. Otherwise let the journey begin for all of us. the road may be long and we may struggle (I know I will) but with each others help and support we can do this. Thanks for letting me share this with you.